she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
