the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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