I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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