Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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