VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
