i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
