Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My cat gives me a boner
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
