we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She has the best kind of daddy issues
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
