guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
