we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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