everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
