Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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