Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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