so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
