please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
either way he was missing a nipple.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize