Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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