Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
