I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize