He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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