I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize