I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
