Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
