he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
NoShamevember. You game?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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