I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize