I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
