Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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