They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
