when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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