You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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