two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Randomize
