she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize