It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
