there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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