Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
