i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize