SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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