I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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