I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
