those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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