Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
