Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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