I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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