i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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