You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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