I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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