This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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