he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
