I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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