people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Houston, we have a squirter
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
