There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
