I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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