You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
