Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
