i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
