dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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