I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
where am i from again
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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