how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
