I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize