He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
