U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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