my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
