she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize